I know that I'm a Mom...

I know that I'm a Mom because Maxwell threw up on me twice this morning and I didn't mind. Of course I felt terrible for him, but I loved being there for him. The puking tuckered him out and he fell asleep on me on the couch. Ahhhhh..... true love.

Three weeks...

Tonight at around 8:15 it will be three weeks since Max came home to his forever family. In some ways it feels as though he's always been in my/our lives and in others it all feels brand new. I think the not feeling so new part is because this little boy is truly an old soul (from Seoul!). I can't explain it with words but when I look into his eyes I just know that he knows so much more than I do and that he's here to teach me and others. In just the short time that he's physically been home he has really brought out the best in David and me. We're better people because of Max.

This little miracle of a boy continues to bring a million smiles to faces of our friends and family. My friend Erin is particularly smitten as is Max with her. Yesterday the three of us had a great time in the Macy's shoe department. Always looking for a teachable moment, Erin taught Max about the variety of materials used to make women's shoes such as patent-leather.

On Tuesday Max and Mommy went to their first class at "The Little Gym" and had a fun time. We met other nice mommies and are looking forward to our weekly class. Music class starts next week!!

I think that Max has a natural propensity towards music because he really is soothed by it or inspired. By inspired I mean that he get so happy when he hears music and busts out one of his three dance moves and a lot of giggles.

His babbling continues to make us laugh. His "MamaMamaMama" is quite impressive and is now interspersed with "Dada." His seemingly favorite sound to make is the growl that he learned from the dog.

Uh oh... someone's crying.... thanks for checking in, more soon! Peace ~ Robyn

Saturday

Wow, it's been two blessed weeks with Maxwell. Everyday we learn something new about our precious baby boy and he continues to learn about ten knew things per day! Yesterday he had two milestones:

• he mimicked the number of times that I tapped the floor with my hand
• during a meal he pointed to his bottle to indicate, "no more carrots, I want my bottle."

All for now!

~ Robyn

My Dad

When my dad was dying in January, 2004, the idea of living my life to its fullest - robust with experiences, milestones, ideas, moments, joy and sadness without him, weighed heavily on my heart like a harbinger. But very quickly I recognized his presence within me.

For many weeks I wore the necklace that he received for his Bar Mitzvah on his 13th birthday. The first time I saw him take this necklace off was when he entered the hospital in October 2003. Wearing the necklace made me feel warm, loved and safe. The necklace was always under my top layer and not visible to anyone else. It was just there across my skin to keep me at ease.

Why am I thinking these thoughts and writing about them in this blog? Because while waiting for Maxwell to come home there were many days and nights where I didn't think I could tolerate not having my dad physically present to witness this joy. Moments after the referral phone call came in November, I cried because I so badly wished for both of my parents to witness this sukah, or joy.

The night before Max arrived I suddenly became aware of what to do to make my fabulous father an active part in this time. Many years ago my dad spent several days stripping Pepto Bismal-pink paint from an antique rocking chair that I purchased at a flea market. Moving this rocker into Maxwell's room solved several issues: it created more space in the living room; we needed a rocker or glider in Maxwell's room but didn't want to buy one; and it brought my dad into the experience.

And then the other day I thought of another viable way to bring Papa Floyd into my experience of being a mother. Since the house is all hardwood floors I've been wearing the socks I got in the hospital during my surgery in December - the ones with the rubber on the bottom to prevent skids/sliding. Having one pair is not enough so I found the socks that I took from my dad's time in the hospital. They're on my feet right now so in his own way my dad is helping to keep me warm; helping to keep Maxwell safe and helping me to stay on solid ground.

The Library

Today was Maxwell's first visit to the Highland Park Library. I'm such a supporter of the public library system and am saddened by our libraries decreased funding. Max and I looked at some books and checked out a couple of Children's CDs and DVDs, as well as three books for me to read so that I can continue to (at least academically!) learn to be a Mommy. I do know in my heart that I am learning to be a good mom every second by listening to my inner wisdom and by observing what Max likes and dislikes. I do hope, sincerely, that he'll become a lifelong reader and lover of books.

Thanks for checking in!
Best,
~ Robyn

In Awe...

Maxwell continues to awe us. I'm incredulous by how happy he is. He delights in almost everything and let's us know by smiling his delicious little boy smile with his two bottom teeth peeking through. He also smiles with his beautiful almond eyes as you can see in his pictures.

What are some of the things that I love about this boy, my son?

• his easygoing temperament
• his giggles and laugh
• his curiosity
• his interest in the dog
• his smile
• his soft, silky baby boy skin
• his giggles and smiles when he recognizes his mommy or daddy
• the way his bum wiggles when he crawls
• how big his hands and feet are
• all of the sounds that he makes - laughter, babbles, making bubbles with his saliva, screaming when he's excited or happy
• watching him play
• watching him sleep (especially when his bum is in the air, think balasana yoginis/yogis!)
• feeding him and playing a game where mommy feeds him one spoonful and he does the next
• his burps!
• seeing how much fun he has playing with his food and being awed by my tolerance for how dirty he gets
• mornings... oh I cherish morning time with him... this is when he babbles the most and is sooo soooo sweet in his morning innocence

About Airport Day (and the Pediatrician)

Hi! Thanks for checking in. Now that Max is asleep on the couch, I can finally write about Airport Day.

Everyone arrived in plenty of time which was great it was nice to experience the anticipation with all! We quickly located his flight on the arrival board and he was scheduled to land at 7:36 PM. All eyes were fixed on the arrival screen and when I saw the status of Max's flight begin to change I yelled, "He just landed!" It was a false alarm; the flight was delayed until 8:15 :)

A greeter met us at the airport. She has adopted three children through our agency and was a pro! Our friends and family had to stay off to the side but David and I were permitted to stand just outside of the security gate with others who were waiting for the flight.

As our crowd grew larger and larger (we ended up with 25-30!) and my cousin Sharon and her family arrived with a wonderful large sign that said "Welcome Max" in Korean, other people who were waiting for the flight to arrive became curious. One man asked me, "Who is this Max that everyone's waiting for?" We have pictures with him in them taking his own pictures of the event with his camera phone.

The plane finally landed and David and I waited anxiously with the other friends and family of passengers. It was so exciting and I felt so loved and blessed in the final moments before Max arrived.

When I saw a woman walking out with a baby in a carrier, I screamed to our group, "He's here!" And as I finished my sentence I began to worry that maybe that was just another passenger from the plane who also had a baby. But nope, it was our adorable, loveable, wonderful, Maxwell Shumer Hyman.

David and I began to cry, we were so completely overcome with joy and love. We had been anticipating this moment and it was finally here. Finally ours to feel and live.

We walked over to the where the greeter met the escort and saw our baby for the first time. David and I continued to cry our happy tears (this after I said on the ride to the airport that I don't cry when I'm happy). And then the escort handed Maxwell to me and I held him. For the first time I felt the soft, silky baby skin that I had dreamed of. And I made eye contact with my new son and felt his warm baby breath. My life changed instantly.

I didn't know where to turn first, to the escort to thank her or to our friends and family. I don't know what I decided, but I did eventually let everyone see Max and flashbulbs went off – his first exposure to the paparazzi! Maxwell was PERFECT the entire evening, he never cried (until his first exposure to the car seat) and just looked around and smiled at everyone. He was incredibly calm and perfect.

The escort spoke English and told me that she sang to him during the flight and it soothed him to sleep. She was crying as she had been with him for nearly 24 hours and formed a bond. She held him again and posed for pictures. We brought a Polaroid with us so that she could have some photos to remember Maxwell.

As mentioned, Max didn't like the car seat at all. But what I've learned in my short time with him is that he voices his disdain for things but quickly adapts and stops crying. For instance, his first couple of times in the highchair he'd whine for 30 seconds or so and then he was fine. This is how he seems to be with everything.

When we got home we put him on the floor to crawl around and he immediately crawled after the dog. He is VERY interested in the dog and often follows him around. We have some great photos of him hugging, Gauss.

I know that his first visit to the pediatrician doesn't count towards the Airport Day entry, but I thought I'd post it here anyway. We had to sit in the waiting room for about half an hour and Maxwell handled it so much better than I did. I was antsy and irritated while he just sat and looked around the room. Amazing! When it was time to undress him for his weigh-in, he cooperated, sat in the baby scale and GIGGLED. The nurses couldn't believe how well-behaved he was. The only time he wasn't giggling or at least smiling was when the doctor looked into his ears with her otoscope. Other than that, he was fabulous. He weighs 18 lbs and is 28 1/8 inches long. Developmentally he's right on target (although my mother-in-law thinks he's ahead and who am I to argue?) – I think he'll probably take his SATs soon (not to set up unreasonable expectations or anything!).

He is a true joy. He's full of delicious personality and a wonderful temperament. He simply radiates and is a blessing in its truest sense.

Day Two

Max is doing great! He's such a nice little boy. Happy and fun. He is able to indicate what he likes and doesn't like. When he tries something new or is directed to a new activity from what he's engaged in, he cries (no tears though) for a minute or so and then he's super happy again.

He's a little monkey! He LOVES to be held and climbs as high as he can onto whomever is holding him and gets really compact and holds on with a VERY strong grip.

We're trying to regulate his internal timeclock. His nights and days are currently mixed up. I feel really bad keeping him up during our days but we have to. Getting him to sleep/nap when we want him to is tough... he insists on being held and walked around. Just when I often think that my arms can have a rest and we can sit down, he cries. I've quickly learned to wait 5-10 minutes after he falls asleep in my arms before I attempt transitioning to the crib.

He has a lot of fun in his highchair! It's really cute. We have some great snapshots of him in there. He also had a BLAST in the tub.

Right now he's napping and after he wakes up I'll attempt a short drive in the car so that he can get accustomed to the car seat.

Check out our latest photos at: http://www2.snapfish.com/share/p=36891205077043923/l=355387984/g=124666915/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB



Thanks for checking in on us!

Max Pictures

Airport day was AMAZING! I promise, more details to come SOON, but for now, Max is finally asleep and I need to got watch him : )

Here is a link to pictures taken by his Papa Steve:

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8YctnDRu3Y9g

Best,
~ Robyn

Maxwell's in the US!!!

His flight from Seoul landed in San Francisco at 10:38 AM EST and he's scheduled to depart San Francisco at 2:13 PM EST, landing in Newark at 7:39 PM!!!!

Interesting...

• Maxwell's plane departs Seoul on Friday March 7, 2008 @ 3PM Seoul time - that's 1am EST
• His escort's name is Cho Myung Soon
• As I write this Maxwell's flight is "in flight"
• His Seoul to San Franscisco flight is approximately 9 hours and 19 minutes long
• His San Franscisco to Newark flight is approximately 8.5 hours long
• He arrives in Newark at around 7:45 PM
  

After teaching my two morning classes I took a nap. I rested on the couch and listened to the roar of the fire from the pellet stove. David took the dog to Rutger's Gardens and then to the pet store to choose a treat (today is Gauss' 6th birthday). I marveled at the notion that I was experiencing several "lasts":

• last nap because I wanted to nap
• last time that I'll have the house solely to myself for some time
• last Sunday that I'm not a mommy

And then I realized that for me, "lasts" have always been difficult times for me... usually representing the end of something good. But today's "lasts" are leading me towards a path of firsts and I feel so lucky.

Next week this time I'll be a mommy to someone other than Gauss :)